Pillow Talk

i’m not one to demand what i think i deserve
i’m sorry
not the love i’ve been giving
certainly not some peace offering
from a past i’m still running away from
not from you,
nor from the world
not now,
nor ever
you want to hurt me?
my love, you’re gonna have to try harder
this should be fair warning
i’m resilient
not flinching
even as you pull the trigger

regardless of,
and in spite of everything,
whatever you’ve got there
let me have it
whatever kindness
whatever pain
whatever strange promise you dare commit
let me hear all of it
maybe over some beer
actions reciprocated
you learn to breathe once you’re used to suffocating
you see, my heart no longer aches
it has grown cold,
so cold that there’s nothing this body can’t take
this is some strange pillow talk i know
i won’t let go
but if you need me out
let me tell you
neither will i stay
-m.d.
✍🏻10-29-16

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