Swipe Right (Reprise)

it’s a shame—
we figure each other out
knitting threads
of dirty jokes
a chest full of demons
some dubious ambitions
diamonds worth
of coping with vices
of childhood fears
of anti-religion
of anti-everything—
raw
emotion
struggling to get past our walls
it’s left us crippled
we figure
we’re not that mighty
after all

we were
each other’s
idea of temporary
you think,
“no one can be that crazy”
but we yearned—
a lust for company
because in truth
we’re tired of waking up
in tears,
admitting we’re lonely
-m.d.
✍🏻11.15.16

Not Like This

sometimes i wish i could love you
not like this, no
i wish i were allowed to
i wish i was better
at keeping myself together
not like this, no
i wish i was enough
to keep you around
i was always content, you know
never wished for anything
never hoped
never even dreamed
for it to go this far
but then it did
just when i thought
i was over it

who am i to deny
this isn’t
familiar territory?
who am i to decide
this isn’t
what’s meant for me
my so-called destiny
who even
are the fabricators
of this story?
and who exactly are they
to deny me
you?

someday
i’ll be brave enough to want you
this time for myself
not for anyone else
and i promise you
i’m gonna be selfish
someday
some place,
maybe in some other life
someday
we’ll be alright,
just not this time, no
not tonight

-m.d.