Fickle

Fickle is a song that I wrote about surviving a massive heartbreak.  “Don’t get me wrong. This is beyond a stupid love song.” It’s not a break-up song, either. It’s about moving on and learning that some days, you just don’t get what you want, what you deserve. Fickle is a song about looking back, recounting everything that happened and finally realizing that you’re better than you were before. The lyrics of the song were heavily based on true events. From the parked car where everything had started and ended to the time he said he had a fickle heart. Aside from that, it was also inspired by the the short story, Dead Stars by Paz Marquez Benitez, the first short story written in English by a Filipino author.

we were sitting in your car,
parked alone beneath the mocking stars
and I wished it would last forever
and we decided to hold on
cause we realized this love’s too strong
for us to even care about forgetting

don’t get me wrong, this is beyond a stupid love song
don’t fool yourself, we’re just dead stars in the end

I think about the hours, the days,
all the promises we would have made
but I’ll be damned if we would ever make it

the truth that you were never mine
was all it took for my hopes to die
since all I ever was to you was yours

don’t get me wrong, this is beyond a stupid love song
don’t fool yourself, we’re just dead stars in the end
the universe had placed neon signs that paved my way out of it
sure fooled myself, we’re just dead stars in the wind

we were sitting in your car
when you said you had a fickle heart
and I wish you were proud of that.
I cried a river and a sea,
just wishing you’ll come run to me
as I, as I turn my back.

don’t get me wrong, this is not just some emotion
don’t fool yourself, we’re just dead stars in the end

now, I’m holding someone else’s hand
is that alright, or should I think of you more?

It’s closing time and I finally shut the door.

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